Cue the scene from The Lion King when Rafiki lifts the newborn cub, Simba, to the heavens and proclaims him King Mufasa’s son and heir to Pride Rock. I bet you can hear the music, The Circle of Life.
For centuries, cultures the world over marked the arrival of a baby with a ritual. For many of us, the ritual was tied to a church. In today’s world as people move away from organized religion, we also move away from the rituals that once celebrated certain rites of passage. A baptism, or christening, is one of those rituals.
For those parents who still want a way to celebrate the birth of their child, I’ve created a ritual.
The ritual can be adapted for various circumstances because children come into our lives through many ways – birth, adoption, foster care, and private family arrangements.
The ritual I’m sharing here is for a baby born into a family with two parents. I’ll refer to them as a mother and a father but that’s just to make it easier for me to explain the ritual.
The Power of a Name
Choosing a name for a baby is no easy task. However the parents come to the decision, one component of a baby blessing is to explore the meaning of the name.
Does the name have historical reference? Is the name one that has been handed down through generations of the family? Is the name also that of a figure in popular culture? Is the name also that of a place significant to the parents? I know a child who was named London because that’s where she was conceived.
Keep in mind that the choice of a name is not restricted to the baby. First-time parents and grandparents will also choose names for themselves.
Some grandparents will choose culturally based names like Grandma, Granny, MeeMaw, or Meme. They might choose personal creations like RuRu or Gramma Nan. As soon as I knew my daughter was pregnant, my husband and I knew we wanted to be called Nana and Pepe.
Of course, as babies grow and learn to talk, they often come up with their own names for their grandparents.
A few years ago, I performed a ritual to welcome a baby named Beatrice Rose into her family. Here’s an excerpt
Based on sound, the name Beatrice carries these attributes: daring, generous, confident, with first-rate verbal skills, and a trademark irrepressible love for life. Beatrice also means “bringer of joy.”
The name Rose immediately evokes the “Queen of Flowers” and is used all over the world in rituals of union. In his book, A Compendium of Herbal Magick, author Paul Beyerl says, “Roses represent all aspects of the Goddess: the ability to love and nurture, and to see beauty in all things.”
May the Beatrice Rose we’ve come to celebrate grow to embody the abundance of gifts associated with her name.
You only need a few sentences about the name. An Internet search will usually give you enough information. If not, there are plenty of books about the meaning of baby names.
The Nesting Family
For this part of the ceremony, I created a ritual called The Nesting Family. It involves a nest made of grapevine, and stones painted to suggest owls, one for each parent and one for the baby being celebrated. If there are siblings, I paint stones for them, too. I’ve even painted a stone for the family dog.
The nest itself is about the size of a generous salad bowl and made of grapevine. Prior to the ceremony, I fill in gaps in the grapevine with linen tangled fringe I save from my sewing projects. These tangles are in neutral colors. I also bring a small basket filled with colorful linen tangles.
Invite the new grandparents to come up, choose a colorful tangle and tuck it into the nest. While doing so, they can simply say, “I add ___ to this nest.” What the grandparents add is some quality they wish for the family. For example: Love / Health / Security / Abundance / Hospitality.
Here’s a little more from the baby blessing I created for Beatrice Rose:
When Beatrice Rose was born, four grandparents were also born. I’ve heard it said that children are the lines that connect the dots from generation to generation. For the Smith and Jones families, the birth of Beatrice Rose is the first line connecting the dots between the two families.
This nest represents the home where Beatrice Rose will grow up. Before the parents and baby can fill the nest, I invite the grandparents to soften the nest with a special blessing.
Grandparents, please join us. Take a piece of this linen, hold it and infuse it with your love. Tuck it into the nest with your blessing.
If the grandparents can’t participate in person, designate proxies. Have one of the guests use a laptop and include the grandparents via Zoom.
The Owlet and the Parents’ Pledge
I introduce this part of the ceremony by showing the guests the small owlet stone. I give the owlet to someone in the front row, usually a grandparent, and ask that person to begin passing the owlet. As each person holds the stone, they are to infuse it with a blessing for the baby. Eventually, the owlet will come back to the front of the gathering.
Giving the two big owls to the new parents, I say something like this:
Just as you made marriage vows to each other at your wedding, I invite you now to hold these owls, a symbol of wisdom, and make a parent’s pledge to your (son/daughter). When you’re finished, place your owl in the nest.
The parents make their pledges out loud and place their owls in the nest. Keep in mind that the owlet stone is still being passed among the guests. We’ll come back to the owlet later.
The Baby Blessings
Have a decorated basket or bag, and assorted blessings written on pretty paper.
Before the ceremony begins, distribute the blessings to the grandparents, guideparents, siblings, and special guests (if any).
At a point during the ceremony, each person comes forward, says the blessing out loud, and places the paper into the container. If the parents want another child to be involved in the ceremony, that child can hold the basket or bag.
Blessings: Here are seven of the blessings I wrote.
- May you always know in your heart the difference between right and wrong.
- May you be guided with love and have the freedom to find your own path.
- May you create with confidence and unbridled imagination.
- May you explore the world, have adventures, and meet the challenges that
- When you are lost, may you find clear directions.
- When you are lonely, may you connect with true and lasting friends.
- May you always know the security of unconditional love.
The Owlet
By this point, the owlet will have been passed among the guests and should be in the hands of someone in the front row.
I don’t like to leave things to chance when it comes to a baby blessing, so I try to pre-arrange for the passing of the owlet to begin and end with two grandmothers. Admittedly, that plan doesn’t always work. Be prepared to improvise.
Invite whoever is holding the owlet to come forward and carefully place the owlet into the nest.
I remember looking to the designated grandmother for the owlet stone. She gestured to a five-year-old boy sitting next to her, cradling the stone in his little hands.
If the family has arranged for a photographer, be sure to tell him or her in advance about this part of the ritual.
Nest, Linen, Owls, and Baby Blessing Bags
You can, of course, provide your own nest, linen tangles, and stone owls. You can write your own baby blessings and get your own basket or bag to hold the blessings.
If you would rather not add one more task to your to-do list, you’ll find these items in the shop. I make each one with love.
