A wedding vow, whether traditional or personal, is the most universal way for a couple to satisfy their declaration of intent, one of the two legal requirements for marriage ceremonies in the United States. Reciting personal vows gives couples the opportunity to express __________, knowing moments later the second of the two legal requirements will take place: the declaration of marriage.
Vows are all about the effort each person will make to protect and/or achieve a vision of what they want their marriage to be. For instance, a couple might vow:
- To always look for the best in each other
- To help each other achieve their dreams
- To bear burdens together
Keep in mind, every couple brings their own challenges to a marriage. One couple’s vision of what is problematic might not be the same as another’s. Depending on actual or potential obstacles to a marriage, a couple might vow:
- To keep a sense of adventure. That might mean travel, especially if it forces a person out of his or her comfort zone.
- To honor each other’s family traditions while also establishing new traditions of their own.
- To communicate heart-to-heart, especially when it’s hard to say or hear the words.
Structure
Here are a few thoughts to help you craft the personal vows that give voice to what’s in your heart.
- You’ll achieve a sense of unity if both vows are similar in tone. Think grateful, inspirational, uplifting, humorous, serious.
- Your vows should be similar in length, too. Vows that are 8 to 10 lines long work well. That’s usually enough to express the feelings you have for each other and to make a statement about the future you envision.
- The form of the vows is up to you. You might write a poem or a letter. You might sing a song. You might even display a series of images with words.
- Whether or not you share your vows with each other before the ceremony is also up to you.
- Caution! Your vows will be heard by all your guests and might be videotaped. This is not the time to reveal any personal habits that could embarrass your soon-to-be spouse!
